


Much Titan, Very Doge

by nightwriterkohaku



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actor AU, Blood, Christa is an idiot when drunk, Eren became cute again, Gen, M for later chapters, do dick jokes count as something a tag is needed for???, mentioned pegging, tags added as needed, these characters will be the death of me when trying to write humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-10 00:20:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1152566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightwriterkohaku/pseuds/nightwriterkohaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Levi and Hanji are an old married couple, Jean and Marco have a long-distance relationship, dating older is a sign of maturity, and Eren is an adorkable ball of precious out of character.</p><p>Discontinued (read new chapter)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Days on Set

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discontinued (read new chapter)

So, I'd noticed a lot of people on Tumblr asking for an Actor AU fic. I decided to provide! One of my friends helped me come up with a lot of the material, so a BIG thank-you to her, too! The first chapter's kinda short, but I promise the later chapters are gonna be longer. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story!!

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan. Commander Handsome would have more screen time just for those eyebrows if I had a say in it.

 

_< (()   ())>_

 

The first two episodes of “Attack on Titan” had to be filmed that week. Both were considered pilot episodes, and three of their actors had limited availability to the crew. Evan – playing the young Eren Jaeger – was a total handful, even on set (he'd had to been called down for climbing up on one of the titans at one point). Mira was nothing at all like the character she portrayed, which unfortunately meant she spent more time trying to become Mikasa then actually _playing_ Mikasa.

 

They were ever so thankful that Alexander was literally a child version of Armin. Well, not so in as much that he squeaked whenever one of the actors in titan costume walked near and tried to hide behind the nearest object, but he took to his role like a duck to water. Compared to the other two, it was a breath of fresh air.

 

Filming during the second episode went much smoother, as they were introduced to their older counterparts. Evan thought it was just so very cool that he was meeting _the_ Eren Jaeger, and were his eyes _really_ that shade of green? (It was nearly the same with the other four, save Alex, who was just so in awe of meeting Armin that he couldn't bring himself to speak for fear of sounding too childish.)

 

“Whooooaaaaaa....they make things that can change your eye color?!” Evan squealed, amazed when Eren had taken the bright green contact out to show the kid his natural brown during the break.

 

He chuckled, putting the lens back in his eye after cleaning it with some solution. “Amazing, huh? Just be glad _you_ already have green eyes, kiddo – these things are a pain to get in!”

 

Alexander had been watching from nearby, a cup of apple juice in his hands. “...it looks kinda painful...does it... _hurt_...to put those in?”

 

“Not really. It's a bit uncomfortable at first, yeah, but I get used to it pretty fast.”

 

Mikasa walked over at that point, Mira smiling brightly as she strolled alongside. “Especially since he normally wears glasses. He swore he'd never wear contacts, and now look at him. Putting them in like a champ.”

 

The kids started giggling at the pout Eren threw his step-sister for the comment. “Cruel~!!!” he whined, Mikasa merely sticking her tongue out at him in response. Armin chuckled as he sat down, ruffling Alex's hair a bit. Seeing the two siblings so at ease was a bit refreshing, especially after the scene just filmed – where the Armored Titan crashed through the gate of Wall Maria. He wasn't particularly looking forward to watching them shoot the one where Mr. Arlert (his character's grandfather) would be pretty much sent to die, and he could tell that Alexander didn't care much for it, either. They'd both grown attached to the older actor, so watching that would be a lot like seeing an actual relative die in a way.

 

Armin was brought from his musings when Evan shuddered, letting out a tiny whimper. One of the extras had walked by, still in their titan suit and make-up. “Uwaaahh....I'm _still_ creeped out by the one from Ms. Carla's death...how'd they _GET_ that guy's smile so freaky?! And, like, I _know_ it was just a doll or whatever, but it was still scary!!!!”

 

Mira just wrinkled her nose. “...I think that actor who picked us up forgot his no-stink-stuff. I could smell his armpits, and I wasn't _near_ them.”

 

The whole group began laughing, Eren falling out of his seat because he was laughing so hard. They recovered as best they could when the call came for everyone to get back on the set, but the trio of older actors fell back into hysterics when they passed by said man, the blond not having a clue what the hell was so funny.

 

_< (()   ())>_

 

“....aaaaand CUT!!! That's a wrap for today, everyone!!!” came the director's voice from the side, both she and one of the writers walking over to the group. “Ne, Mira! We're gonna be keeping that bit where you shoved the bread in Evan's mouth – _great_ use of improv there! If I could have the actors who'll be here tomorrow come here for just a moment, there's been some teenie revisions to the script for the next episode, so bring your copies if you have them. We can show you what to change on those. If you DON'T have your copy, tell me now, otherwise you are S.O.L. tomorrow, and the whole day is ruined!!”

 

Eren sighed, pocketing his contacts and slipping his glasses back on. “Sheesh...she's tough...and what could they possibly have changed? Wasn't that one about all of us entering the military training?”

 

“Yeah...apparently they changed something regarding your part.” Armin said, having just come back from editing. “They've added more on the Shiganshina Tragedy. Looks like you get to have nausea-inducing flashbacks, not to mention the possibility of a concussion when we get to start with the gear.”

 

Hazel eyes widened as Eren began to flip. “Are you fucking serious?! What _is_ this - “Abuse Eren Jaeger” or “Attack on Titan?!””

 

“I'd say both.” a voice from behind said softly. The trio whipped around, finding themselves face-to-face with a raven-haired, silver-eyed man.

 

Armin was the first to recognize him. “L-Levi Bardot?! S-So...So it's _true_ that you're gonna be in this?!”

 

Levi looked a little miffed. “How many _other_ actors are there with the name Levi, exactly?” he asked sarcastically, though it came out harsher than he probably meant it. “...anyway, the director wanted me to come over and introduce myself, seeing as how I'm some “huge star” and “my presence will be intimidating if I don't let them get to know me,” and all that bullshit.”

 

A yell of “I heard that!” caused him to flinch, until he realized it wasn't meant for him but one of the extras who'd been badmouthing closer to earshot than he was. The other three chuckled, knowing how jumpy the woman was making everybody on set.

 

“Yeah...so you're just gonna play along and not get in trouble, right?” Eren asked.

 

“Exactly...God, that woman's scary...I suddenly feel sorry for that guy.” the shorter man said softly, shuddering a bit at the many scenarios playing out in his mind. “...so I only have the original script, as the revised one really doesn't affect me much...but yes, you're gonna be risking a concussion or two if the scenes where your gear flips you upside down plays out how it's supposed to. Also, the actor playing Shadis will try and make you break character at least once – I've worked with him before. He calls it his “newbie-test,” and since a lot of you _are_ actually new to the biz...he'll probably have a field day tomorrow. So consider this a fair warning....” At this, he slipped a thumb drive to Eren. “...and I never gave you that. It'll help you prepare for his antics.”

 

Mikasa stared at the small piece of equipment. “...dare we ask?”

 

Levi just grinned. “Behind-scenes from the other projects he and I worked on. You'll find it helpful for when he's pulling his shit. Again, though...you _didn't_ get it from me.”


	2. Newbies Beware

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi and Hanji are an old married couple, Jean and Marco have a long-distance relationship, dating older is a sign of maturity, and Eren is an adorkable ball of precious out of character.
> 
>  (Discontinued)

Wow, two chapters in one day?? I'm not sure how I did this...this is a new one for me. Hopefully I can keep this pace up! Anyway, this chapter assumes you've seen SnK-Abridged (there's a direct line from there that was too hilarious to pass up, so kudos to those guys for making me crack my shit at an abridged series).

As before, I don't own SnK/AoT. There would be the faint sound of Jean saying “neigh” in the background every so often if I did.

  _< (()    ())>_

Levi's gift had been a blessing in disguise, the trio found out. The footage on the small drive was of previous “newbie-tests,” and they now felt pretty prepared for the upcoming shoot. Though, they had to admit...some of what he did to make the actors break character was hilarious. They kinda wondered what he'd try with them.

Of course, the scene they were working on WOULD be right in the middle of the day, and the sun was right on them. Maybe somebody would goof up enough that they'd have to finish this tomorrow...?

Shadis was currently walking towards Armin. “...Hey, kid!!”

“Sir!!”

“...the hell are you?”

“Ar--”

He was cut off. “Well sweet Mother Theresa on the hood of a Mercedes Benz, you sound like a majestic fucking eagle! D'ya sing?!” Shadis didn't wait for an answer (not that Armin could, other than blink in confusion). “C'mon, harmonize with me, maggot!”

Very few was the amount of people who did not break character and laugh at the man's horrible singing. A glance to the side would show that half the crew was doubled over, as well.

“C-Cut!!” came the shaky voice of none other than the director. She had also fallen victim to the hilarity. “...dammit, Shadis, they warned me about you!! Did I listen?! Noooooo!!!”

“My apologies.”

“I'll believe you're sorry when we can get through a take without you hazing the new kids.”

  _< (()    ())>_

“CUT!!! SHADIS, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S FUCKING HOLY, STOP WITH THE FUCKING ANTICS!!!!”

...needless to say, very few of the shots made it into final editing due to the man's shenanigans. And the woman was pissed over that. If it wasn't for the fact he was one of the best for the role, she probably would've sacked him by now. As it was, they'd spent more of the afternoon re-shooting that one scene than moving through to the rest of the episode. She was going to be having more than a few choice words with the actor, no doubt. “...we've lost the lighting we need. Call it a day! Wrap it up, folks! SHADIS!! You're coming with me!!”

Eren, Mikasa, and Armin met up before heading towards the trailers. “Gotta admit, he comes up with some interesting stuff...where the fuck did he pull that one out of, though?!” Eren chuckled.

“Who knows?!” Armin responded. “I'd like to know how long he's been doing this to gain such a reputation...”

“Too long, if it apparently precedes him.” Mikasa murmured, a smile on her lips. They paused at Eren's trailer, where they prepared to part ways. Just as the other two were almost gone, they heard a yelp from their friend. “Eren!” the young woman shouted, turning around, expecting him to be injured. She and Armin both were surprised to see him laying on the ground, laughing uncontrollably, a black and brown dog having pounced him as soon as he opened the door. “...you brought Lucky?” she asked as soon as she was over, kneeling down next to her brother.

Eren nodded, not able to do much else with the dog currently on top of him and attempting to lick his face. He managed to pry her off after a minute or so. “Yeah...she hasn't been out of the house much with all the filming, and while this thing is still kinda considered indoor-confinement, it's a change of scenery for her...”

“Eren, I didn't know you had a dog...” Armin said, a little in awe.

The brunette laughed, scratching behind the animal's ears. “Yup! Armin, this is Lucky, my shiba. Mikasa helped me get her about a year ago. You remember hearing about that shelter that was gonna be shut down, right?” The blond nodded. “Well, she was one of the dogs that was about to be put down because nobody was adopting. Can you believe that – she's a pure shiba, and they were about to put her down!!” Eren picked the dog up, nuzzling into her fur. “Seemed fitting I name her Lucky...I mean, I don't even wanna think about how close to the needle she was!”

“The dog seems to be some kind of charm, as well...ever since she entered his life, he's had much better luck.” Mikasa decided to add. “...though that hasn't been the case with romance...maybe it's because she screams like she's being murdered every time you bring people home?” She grinned evilly when Eren spluttered in embarrassment. “Well, am I wrong? The first time you ever tried to bring a date home, you called me crying because she fled after the dog's yowling scared her.”

Eren blushed and looked away, setting Lucky back on the ground. The dog obediently sat next to her master's feet, tail wagging ninety miles a minute. “...not my fault people don't understand that a shiba “screams” when it's happy to see part of its pack return...all they see is those stupid videos on the internet of them howling in fear of getting a damn bath...” he grumbled, pouting about the many misconceptions of his pet. The other two could only laugh, his expression just too cute for somebody to subconsciously be making. “...besides, she's actually very well-behaved when it comes to water! She loves it! Don't you, girl? Don't you?” Oh, those two just couldn't resist laughing even harder at how he was practically cooing over the dog now, Lucky pawing at one of the hands on her ears as if saying, “Yes, human, pet me!” The black-and-tan patterned shiba even had what could be an expression of joy on her face at the attention.

Mikasa couldn't help but think that helping Eren find Lucky was easily one of the best decisions she'd ever made.


	3. Romance on Set

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi and Hanji are an old married couple, Jean and Marco have a long-distance relationship, dating older is a sign of maturity, and Eren is an adorkable ball of precious out of character.
> 
> (Discontinued)

Whee!! Third chapter!! I'm soooooo grateful to all the people who've read this so far – I honestly didn't think it'd be that good! So, let's keep going – on with the show!

And I still don't have any say with the actual anime. Do you realize how many ships I would've let sail if I did???

  _< (()    ())>_

“Wow...you were seriously thinking about turning down the part?”

Marco nodded, having just gotten off the phone with his mother a few minutes prior. “Yes...I mean, she's in remission, but most of our relatives live too far away to really be of any help should she need it. It's been the two of us for a while now since Dad died, so you can see why taking this job was a difficult decision for me.” He paused, a smile coming across his face. “...I probably wouldn't have if Mom hadn't pushed me to. She's always wanted me to follow my own dreams, but with her so sick...I guess I was just more content to take smaller roles that wouldn't keep me away for too long.”

Eren found he could relate to that – his own mother had died of an inoperable brain tumor when he was younger, maybe twelve. It wouldn't be until about four years later that his father and Mikasa's mother married (he still had trouble calling the woman “Mother,” despite how loving she was). So Marco wanting to be as close as possible in case things took a sudden turn was completely understandable to him.

Jean spoke up first. “Hey, at least we're allowed to get calls and all that while we're here, right? So she can at least keep you updated on what's going on...I mean...that's probably not too much of a huge comfort, but...”

“No, it's okay. I get what you're trying to say, Jean.” His amber eyes softened. “...thanks, Jean. Really. I mean that.”

And at that moment, they all swore that the smile the brunette had on his face could make angels weep.

  _< (()    ())>_

“...so, we're gonna be doing the Trost sets tomorrow, huh?” Reiner mused as the group looked over their scripts, mostly just so they could make sure they were set for the shoot. His brow furrowed as he looked it over. “...they're seriously gonna have Sasha steal food again? That's going to be all her character's known for at this point.”

Said girl let out a sigh from where she sat. “I've looked at the forums – they're already calling me “Potato Girl” just cause of that one scene...” She buried her head in her arms. “...who knew just trying to do a bit of improv based on my character's back story would lead to this...?”

Connie placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Get used to it, Sasha. I'm just getting called the comic relief of the series, thank you Jean.” He glared at the taller man. “Seriously! You just had to screw up that bit, and it just had to be so funny that they kept it in the final cut! Ugh, what did you wipe on my shirt, anyway?!”

“I told you, it was my faith in humanity.”

“Oh, I'll believe that when horses fly!!”

Eren chose this moment to chime in. “They already do. Jean does almost every episode.”

Laughter filled the table at that. Jean had learned that Eren didn't really mean it, so he only shook his head, giving a few light chuckles of his own. “Yeah, yeah, go on and laugh.” He grinned rather evilly, leaning over so that only Eren would hear this : “Just don't go home crying when you find out how accurate that insult applies to other places, y'hear?” When the other looked like he'd seen a ghost, Jean fell backwards, laughing so hard his stomach started hurting. “Holy CRAP, Eren – your face!! What, didn't think I'd own up to something like that?!”

“Wait, I'm confused...what'd you say to him?” Bertholt asked, curious as to what had made the usually unflappable man look like he'd just heard the most horrible secrets of the universe.

“...said his dick was big.” Annie answered instead. Everyone stared at her, and she just shrugged. “What? I've been around the block a few times – I can tell. Obviously Eren's never heard somebody make a dick joke before...oi, did you not take gym class or something?” The look she got from said person and his sister told her some of what she needed to know. “...point made. Not gonna press it, then. My apologies if I dragged anything painful up.”

The confusion at the table only increased after that, muted only by the sudden dark cloud that had settled over Eren and Mikasa.

  _< (()    ())>_

So far, the filming for the Trost arc had been going smoothly, save for the occasional call for a break due to injury. This time around, a gear in both Mikasa's harness and the pulley system had jammed, causing her to get yanked back mid-jump. They were having to check her over while trying to get her down, the crew having to work slowly to make sure she wasn't hurt further during the process. Needless to say, Eren was a nervous wreck the entire time she was up there, fretting over whether or not she'd be okay, and it was obvious he wouldn't be calming down until she was back on the ground (even if the paramedics were assuring him that she was fine, that at most she was just going to have some severe bruising). The crew was suddenly glad that the young actor had taken to bringing Lucky with him, as he probably would have lost it if the shiba wasn't there nudging his hand in reminder that he was supposed to be petting her right now, not focusing on the fact his sister was having to be supported by a cherry picker because her wires were being taken apart.

“...smart thinking, bringing his dog from his trailer, Arlert...” the director whispered, an uncommon gleam of sympathy in her eyes as she watched Eren. “We'll have her down from there soon, hopefully. In the mean time, keep an eye on him, please – I have to see to the others.”

Armin nodded, a soft “Yes, ma'am” passing his lips. No matter how much of a hardass the lady could be during filming, they'd all began to see that she was just wanting them at their best (and if she had to push a few buttons to get them to do so, then she'd do it). All the wounds incurred just in the past few days had taken a toll on everyone, and she'd really tried to go a bit easier on them. Luckily, they were nearing the end of the actual “attack” part, with Eren's titan-abilities being revealed in the next bit. Soon, the whole series would take a major shift, and though the set was filled with nervous energy from all the mishaps, the anticipation of the upcoming change was evident in everybody. Some of the “new” actors – though really, they were just new characters – had recently arrived, and were getting briefed on where and when they'd be entering. Levi had waved to the trio when he spotted them before heading off to join his group, but not before swatting at a taller, brunette woman who made some comment to him.

The blond's attention returned to the current situation when he heard Eren let out a relieved cry of his sister's name. “Ohmygod, Mikasa, never do that again! You had me worried! YOU COULD HAVE DIED!!!”

Mikasa merely looked at the brunette who was currently attached to her like a leech with exasperation. “...says the kid who managed to give himself two concussions and a fractured wrist in the course of one episode.” Nevertheless, she wormed an arm out from under his death-grip and patted his head. “Really, Eren...I'm fine. I highly doubt being suspended in mid-air is going to kill me.” Sighing, she looked over to Armin for help of any kind, knowing that Eren probably wouldn't let her go for a while. Sadly, Armin had figured that out, too, and merely shrugged, not having a clue what he could do to be of service.

...not far away, though, another pair was having a discussion of their own. Over the course of the arc, Jean and Marco had gotten closer (many would say almost romantically so, and some had placed bets that the two would get together). With everything on pause until Mikasa's gear was fixed, the two were off to the side, just talking about what they hoped would be in the future.

“...I'm kinda hoping they don't make the whole series just about Eren and his titan stuff...” Jean murmured, leaning back against one of the buildings. “I mean, yeah, it's “unique” and all, but there's more than just him in the damn show. And your character ranked pretty high on that forum poll, from what I could tell. So they should at least keep you in the front of the cast.” He waited for Marco to respond, but looked over when he all he received was silence. The brunette was looking away, gnawing on his lip, obviously distraught. “...Marco?”

“...I'm not on the show after Trost is done.”

A real, honest-to-God titan could've stepped on Jean at that moment and he wouldn't have noticed. He had truly expected for Marco to be on the show until the end, and to hear that he would be leaving as soon as this particular arc was over...it was a bit of a blow. “...c-can I ask why...?”

Amber eyes finally turned back to him, filled with sadness. “I just got the call yesterday. Mom's cancer is back, and it's bad. I've...I've talked it over with the director, and she agreed to have the writers change it so that I get killed in battle. That way I can head home in case...in case this turns out to be the end.” He turned his gaze to the ground. “...I don't want her to be by herself. I'm all she has left. If she were to pass while I'm here...I don't think I could forgive myself.” He sighed, curling in on himself a bit. “...you're the only person I've told...and I'd like to keep it that way for now. I'll tell the others when the time comes, but for now...it's not really necessary.”

Jean nodded, silent as he mulled it over. Marco already had a difficult time accepting the part, and now...now he was having to give it up. Granted, it was for good reason, but...it still didn't seem fair. Hesitantly, Jean wrapped an arm around the the other actor's shoulders, drawing him close. “...you'll be missed, y'know...by everyone...and...and really missed by me.” Jean steeled himself – now or never. “Marco...I, uh...would you be willing to...I dunno...ugh, this is a stupid idea, why am I ev--”

“Are you trying to ask me to be in a long-distance relationship?”

“...I...guess so?”

The pair just looked at each other for a few minutes in silence before breaking down into a fit of laughter.

“Jean...you are, without a doubt, a dork for even thinking I'd say no.” Marco said between giggles, wrapping his arms around the taller actor. “...but don't even think I'm leaving this set without a proper first kiss!”

Smiling, Jean pulled him in. “Think I can manage that...” he whispered before pressing his lips to the ones awaiting.

The pair didn't even separate when they heard Connie yelling that he called it. They just flipped him off.


	4. Painful Much?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi and Hanji are an old married couple, Jean and Marco have a long-distance relationship, dating older is a sign of maturity, and Eren is an adorkable ball of precious out of character.
> 
>    
> (Discontinued)

And we're finally at the point where the rest of the people are introduced. I'm hoping this story'll keep turning out as well as it has been so far. Some back story will be touched on in this chapter, too, so if there was any confusion left from the previous ones, it'll hopefully be cleared up!

Still no hope of me doing any work on the actual anime or manga. Do you realize how tsundere Levi would be if I was on the job?

  _< (()    ())>_

It was actually kind of cute how often Jean called Marco from the set just to talk, so worried about how his boyfriend was handling his mother's illness that the once-actor expressly forbade him from calling if it was going to be another “wellness call.” Of course, when Jean argued that he was just trying to be a good boyfriend, Marco threatened that the next time they Skyped, he was answering with the mangled corpse from the episode where he died.

“I still can't believe you bought that thing...” Jean grumbled into the phone, shivering as he remembered finding the too-lifelike prop.

Marco's laughter rang through his cell. _“Are you kidding? That thing'll be valuable merchandise someday! Besides, aside from scaring my boyfriend over video chat, it'll be the best Halloween decoration EVER! Probably won't have to even give candy out, it'll scare the kids that well...”_

It was Jean's turn to chuckle. “You are an evil little monster and I love you.”

 _“I'm so not evil, just sneaky. Love you too, by the way.”_ A pause followed by muffled words as Marco spoke to somebody else. _“Mom's saying hello. She's adamant about meeting you sometime when she's out of the hospital...yes, Mother, I'll tell him how he's not allowed to do anything “indecent” to me until you've met him...OH MY GOD, MOM, I AM NOT TELLING HIM THAT!”_ More muffled words. _“Mom, NO!! He's not sent me any pictures of his dick!!”_

Jean choked at that – was his mother really suggesting that they were sexting?! He wasn't sure he wanted to meet this woman now...

_“...I'm so sorry about that, Jean...she's protective of me. I'll talk to you later, okay? Her doctor's about to come check on her, see if there's been any progress with the treatment.”_

“It's...it's really not that big a problem. I'll talk to you later.”

  _< (()    ())>_

Eren was surprised when he heard the knock on his trailer door. He was even more surprised to see Levi and...Erwin, he thought...? Well, he hadn't been expecting them to be the ones outside.

“Mind if we come in? We wanted to discuss one of the upcoming scenes with you.” Levi said.

“N-Not at all! I-It's a bit messy, but...p-please! Come in!” Eren moved to the side, letting the two older men inside. He wasn't kidding when he'd said it was slightly messy. “...sorry...I misplaced my contacts after yesterday, and just...well, you can see what happened.” he muttered, obviously embarrassed at the state of the place.

“Happens to the best of us.” the blond soothed, unfazed by the surroundings. “...anyways, the matter of our visit. You're aware of today's shoot, correct?”

“Yeah – the dungeon scenes, and the courtroom.” Eren blinked. “...I'm gonna guess you two are here about the latter?”

Levi nodded. “Considering my script literally says to beat you up? Yeah, we're here about that. Trust me, I've got a fair share of reservations about this one. Everyone here is doing their own stunts – we're enduring a lot of injuries that most other actors and actresses wouldn't in the course of a whole movie. This one scene could easily land you in the hospital if we aren't careful.”

“...they're at least using a fake tooth for the kick to the face.” the brunette stated with a shrug.

Erwin sighed. “That's the least of our worries. Levi will be kicking you while you're on your knees, and your hands are going to be bound behind your back. You aren't going to have any way to defend yourself from his blows. Not to mention anything else they want him to throw in to add to the scene.” He shook his head. “Tell us now if there is anything you're not going to be comfortable with, or if there are any prior injuries he should be aware of so he can try to avoid them.”

Eren was silent for a moment before he chuckled, smiling a bit. “I appreciate your concern, guys, really I do! But I'll be fine.” He looked away, facing the small window. “...I highly doubt you can do worse than what I got during school, anyway...” He chose to ignore the raised eyebrows he got from the comment. “Seriously, be more worried about somebody breaking character than me getting damaged. Mikasa's in the sidelines on this, right? She'll either be hard for Armin to restrain, or she'll insult somebody. Believe me, I know my sister.”

Even with his assurances, the elder two couldn't help but be concerned...

  _< (()    ())>_

“You cowards!! Just shut up and let me shoulder it all!!”

The set was silent for a moment before the call from Nile came for the gun to be pointed at Eren – Levi's cue to jump over and deliver the first of many blows to the brunette. A swift kicking motion, the clink of the false tooth on the tiled floor. False blood flew threw the air as Eren's body swung to the side, then he “coughed” up more when the elder's leg met his gut. Levi's sudden choice of bending down and yanking the other up by his hair, the movement stretching his neck rather painfully, startled some of the crew (who flinched when the younger body was flung to the side again by a knee to the ribs). Mikasa nearly leaped over the rail to stop Levi, Armin grabbing her arm with a cry of “Wait!” just in time to stop her.

Eren was now folded over, Levi's foot holding his head on the floor. “...it's just my personal opinion...” the raven-haired man started coolly, “...pain is the best tool for discipline. You don't need to be educated by words. You need training.” His voice lowered a bit. “...you've fallen low enough that you're easy to kick around, anyway.”

That the scene continued with little to no problems was both a blessing and a bit of a worry. The wavering in Nile's voice was easily concern for Eren's safety, as it isn't every day that an actor is getting beaten up to that degree right in front of your eyes. Many of the extras posing as Military Police and Wallists looked ready to vomit from the display, and a few of the crew seemed a bit queasy, obviously having not expected the two to have gone to that extreme. As soon as the bit was done, Eren was whisked away to where paramedics were awaiting. Mikasa marched right over to where Erwin and Levi were standing as soon as the all-clear was given, murder glinting in her eyes. “Just what the _hell_ were you thinking, going that fucking far?!” she seethed.

Levi's eyebrow raised for a moment. “...that was actually me holding back, to be honest...and to be fair, Erwin and I went earlier to ask if there was anything we should be aware of – prior injuries and all that. He said there wasn't, and that he'd be fine.”

The young woman let out a curse under her breath. “You should've come and grabbed me instead. He's not gonna say a damn thing when it comes to this – it's his first major role in anything, and he's too afraid of screwing it up. The _last_ thing he's going to do is talk about something that could potentially ruin a scene.” Shaking her head in exasperation at her brother's actions, she continued. “First off, he's had a lot of “prior injuries,” ranging from minor bruises to broken bones – I'm not at liberty to discuss why or how, that's for him to say, but a few of the...incidents...left some emotional damage. Secondly, he's got too high of a pain tolerance for his own good. The fracture he got? He barely felt that. So even if he was getting some kind of damage done to him during that bit, there's a good chance he didn't even realize it until closer to the end.” She could tell from the looks on the two actors' faces that this was stuff Eren should have told them. Rolling her eyes, she grabbed them by the hands and started dragging them towards where the medics were stationed. “Look, if you're so worried about him, then follow me. I'm warning you now, though – his brain-to-mouth filter is zero when he's been given pain medication, so he might say some interesting things...at least he's painfully honest at all times.”

Erwin and Levi looked at each other in worry, not sure whether this would be a good thing or not...

...of course, it was a bit of both, to be honest – Eren was bandaged in a few places, and looked a bit drugged (one of the medics said they'd had to give him something stronger than normal, given that the damage was worse than what he was telling them). Mikasa instantly knew from that piece of information that her brother's filter was worse than zero – it was out the proverbial window. His contacts were out, so brown eyes were hazy behind his glasses. They widened at the sight of Erwin, and as soon as the blond was close enough, Eren latched onto him.

“...'kasa...” he slurred, “...this one's hot. Can I take him home?”

There was silence from the three, though for different reasons. Mikasa was in a state of “I fucking knew this would happen” silence. Levi's face seemed to be a mixture of confused, stunned, and possibly constipated (the latter would prove to be false). Erwin just looked a bit embarrassed, and silently plead for help from the other two as he currently had a very drugged brunette clinging to his waist and _holy fuck was Eren nuzzling him?!_

“Uhhh...we can...we'll talk about that later...” Erwin finally got out, attempting to pry Eren off of him.

The younger actor pouted up at him. “C'mon – you're tall, blond, and male! You're totally my type!!”

Mikasa (thankfully) intervened at that point, noticing that Erwin was blushing so brightly he looked worse than the roses on the back of the Garrison uniforms. “Eren...how're you feeling?”

“Huh?! Oh...'m fine.” he answered, distracted enough that the blond could easily remove the arms from his middle. “...I got some pretty bad bruises...and the doc said I had 'nother fracture...two? I dunno...they gave me pain killers...I'm not rambling, am I?! Oh God, I am!!” Eren proceeded to flip out a bit over how he always talked too much when people gave him medication, and how he was sorry if he said anything weird, he couldn't help it, really he couldn't! Sighing, Mikasa stepped over to attempt to calm her brother down, giving an apologetic glance to the two men who had come with her. They took that as their cue to leave.

“...I'm guessing that's normal for her...” Erwin said softly, still a bit flustered.

“Would seem so. I'm a bit upset that he wouldn't tell us some of that.” Levi huffed in frustration. “...I broke the kid's bone, Erwin! More than likely in his ribs, since that's where a lot of my hits landed! And he didn't even say a thing!”

Shaking his head, the blond placed a hand on the other actor's shoulder. “Not much we can do now, Levi. Hopefully he'll recover without too much difficulty...and I don't think he'll hold it against you, either.” He stopped when the earlier conversation hit him. “...Levi? Didn't Ackerman say that he'd been getting injuries like this for a while now...?”

“Yeah, so?”

“He's...what, early twenties?”

It clicked for Levi then. “...oh.”

  _< (()    ())>_

With the crack to Eren's rib, he was limited to ground-movement only, which limited the filming they could do. As such, the director decided to do some of the work for a future episode while they did the next one – it was all at the same location and time period, anyway, so they could make it work.

“Jeez, Levi, cut the kid some slack next time! If this is how you treat your coworkers, then I'm not sure I want to have kids with you!” a brunette woman chastised, arms crossed.

His silver eyes rolled. “Oi! Watch it. I might just take Misha and leave you someday if you aren't careful, Hanji.”

She took on a look of mock horror. “You wouldn't dare leave me – your loving wife of nearly ten years – for the cat! By the way, if he scratches me one more time...”

“You probably deserved it.”

Eren watched the pair with concern. “...uh...should we...break them apart before somebody gets hurt?”

Petra just chuckled from nearby. “Oh, they're like that all the time. I think we should be more concerned if they _weren't_ at each others throats over something!”

Eld snorted. “We may have to separate them later. There aren't a whole lot of places where the cameras don't catch, if you know what I mean.”

Blinking a bit, Eren stood there confused before... “Ohmygod, you did NOT just insinuate that they'd DO that!!”

The four who formed “Squad Levi” cracked up at the mortification that crossed Eren's face. “They have before!! You don't wanna know how many times one of the people here've stumbled on them doing it!!” Gunther cackled. “Oh man, it's too fucking hilarious...I wonder if we're gonna have any “close calls” in the castle! Hey, Oluo!! Think we are?!”

“There's _how_ many hallways and rooms? Even if they find somewhere not in the scene, there's the possibility of echo.” said man responded.

Eren shuddered, not sure if he wanted to be there anymore or not.

The day continued, though, the brunette able to push thoughts of the elder actors going like rabbits behind the scenes from his head once he was back on camera...if being stuck down an old well could count as on camera. He was getting a little claustrophobic, to be honest – the dank smell and faint amount of light was starting to get to him quite a bit, and he just wanted the whole thing to be done with. He recited his lines almost mechanically, focused more on keeping himself from freaking out than the actual role. If anybody noticed, then they didn't say anything. When hearing the footsteps of Hanji and Levi starting to get fainter, he knew that was his cue to “bite” his hand, then get the fake blood from his pocket and...well, make himself bloody.

...he didn't count on his current state of mind to cause him to bite through his skin, actually making him bloody and not needing the fake stuff. He was suddenly thankful the cameras set up near him were off for the next while, as there would've been some interesting editing to get rid of his colorful German. So when the pair came back and saw the state of his hand, and that it was real, the shock wasn't faked. It was genuine. And once again, Eren was whisked off to be bandaged up, the medics beginning to think he was doing this shit on purpose (despite protests to the contrary).

“Well...at least we can honestly say the bandages on his hand for the next part are necessary...” the director sighed out, rubbing her temples. “...how we're gonna cover them after the titan part is going to be the tough part. Any wound he sustains heals due to his regenerative powers in-character...actor, not so much.”

“Um...if we do a thin secondary layer of bandages, we might be able to do some quick makeup over it for that particular bit.” one of the makeup artists supplied. “We have some that won't seep through the fabric, but extra protection wouldn't hurt, as it did pierce the flesh and was bleeding.”

The director nodded. “Grab one of the paramedics, discuss it with them first. If they give the go-ahead, get the rest of your group together and find a shade that'll blend with his skin tone. We can smooth out any bandage lines in final editing, but I want it as natural looking as possible!”

  _< (()    ())>_

They all had to admit, the costume and makeup crew had outdone themselves this time. Not only had they found an almost perfect shade to use, but they'd managed to completely conceal the bandages so that not even the lines showed up after he “transformed.” It would've been easy to forget he had them, had Eren not grimaced when moving his hand (though they could pass it off as the effort to remove his hand from the large prop).

Gunther, however, wasn't going to let one thing rest. “...Hanji, I just have to ask, cause those lines weren't even in the script...” He grinned. “...were you thinking about Levi's cock or something when you were describing the titan hand? I mean, really - “it's so hot!!””

Hanji whipped around and bopped him in the head with the spoon. “Hush, you!”

“What'd he do? Why are you abusing coworkers? Isn't that a bit hypocritical?” Levi had just walked over, and was a bit curious what could've been said to make his wife hit somebody with a spoon, of all objects.

“He said I was talking about your cock when I started going on about the titan's hand.”

Gunther went white when silver eyes narrowed and focused on him. “...you have two seconds to start running before I do more than hit you with a spoon...” Levi threatened.

(Let the record show that the actor would later be seen unconscious, out cold from a boot thrown with deadly accuracy.)


	5. Traumatizing Eren and Twin Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi and Hanji are an old married couple, Jean and Marco have a long-distance relationship, dating older is a sign of maturity, and Eren is an adorkable ball of precious out of character.
> 
> (Discontinued)

Okay, so I'm gonna try to keep the updates coming as they have been, but some new jobs opportunities have just popped up, so I _might_ not have as much time to write should I actually get a call-back. Fear not – this is still my main project, and I've got plenty of ideas for it. Also, I may start up some side-works based off this at some point (the Jean/Marco one that hit me is a bit too cute to pass up). As always, please enjoy!

...and I think the picture at this point it's clear that I don't have a say in the actual series, so this part will floof out of existence after this chapter.

  _< (()    ())>_

True to what the four had said, Levi and Hanji had been caught...by Eren. His shrieks of horror, followed by the pair's shouts of various curses and “where did you toss my shirt” caused a round of guffaws to course through the people on set. The laughter only increased when Hanji started blaming Levi for his poor choice of hiding spots, which spurred a full-out argument over the previous times they'd been caught, and how _many_ of those times it had been _Hanji_ who had picked where they stopped, not Levi. Eren just trailed behind, glad they weren't further than shirtless and making out, otherwise (in his words) no corrective lens in the world could help his eyes.

Erwin chuckled, sitting near the “traumatized” brunette. “...if it's any consolation, you're not the first. Just be glad you haven't had the “pleasure” of sharing a hotel room with him while he's drunk...or when they're both drunk and think you have the wrong card key.”

“Oh wow...that's actually happened?!” Eren asked, not believing what he'd just heard.

The blond grinned. “What, thought that just because he's famous he isn't human?”

“N-No!! I just...” A pause. “...well, maybe...I mean, I've kinda looked up to him for a while – he's one of the reasons I wanted to be an actor...”

“I hear that a lot, to be honest.” Erwin mused. “...not that I can't understand where the sentiment's coming from – he's a literal prodigy in the field. Inspired a lot of people. Doesn't mean he enjoys the fact the press puts him on that pedestal, though.” A short laugh. “...Hanji gets a kick out of it, though. Apparently the paparazzi likes trying to catch them in awkward situations.”

The younger choked. “Don't tell me she tries to set shit like earlier up!!”

“No...thankfully. Otherwise we'd be hearing about how one Levi Bardot was heading to prison for murdering his wife brutally.” Another grin cracked Erwin's face. “...he still threatens to take to the cat and split, though.”

“I thought she hated that cat?” Petra asked, walking over.

Erwin shrugged. “It's not so much that she hates the cat, rather that Misha hates her. I'm fairly certain it's because he thinks Hanji is trying to steal Levi away, though...” He probably would've said more, had the call for all actors to be on set not sounded. “...well, looks like they've gotten those two sorted out. Today's...ah, we start the Female Titan arc today. I'm sure Leonhart's looking forward to that one...”

“Eh? I'm confused...”

Erwin blinked, not expecting that from the brunette. “...I would've thought you'd...”

Eren held his hands up defensively. “Okay, I _know_ she's the one in the titan suit – only one with the correct build or something like that. I'm confused as to why you said she'd be looking forward to it!”

“Oh...I'm surprised your friend hasn't told you yet...more so that you haven't realized it yourself. Arlert – that is it, right? Anyway, he and Leonhart are dating.”

Armin, on the other side of the set, paused mid-sentence as a shiver went down his back.

“Is something wrong?” Christa asked.

“...just the feeling that I may want to avoid certain people after the day's over...”

  _< (()    ())>_

“Has anybody seen Armin and Christa? We need them for the upcoming scene!” somebody shouted.

“Sorry!” came the young woman's voice as the pair ran over. “Armin said the bandages felt a bit loose, so I was redoing them.” Sure enough, the white cloth around his head was freshly done, and tighter than Reiner's previous work. “Okay, so, I'm coming in with two extra horses, correct? Then I guess I'd better get to my start point – it's a bit of a ways away!”

The trio watched as Christa took off. “...she's your sister, right, Armin?” Reiner asked.

“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah...my twin, to be exact. It's weird...we didn't know the other existed until we met at open auditions. We became friends, and just...it kinda went from there. Mom nearly flipped when she saw me, though.” he chuckled, remembering how the poor woman almost had a heart attack when he came in the door with her daughter. Of course, anybody would if the child they'd lost in a divorce suddenly came waltzing back into their life without even knowing it. “It's still hard to believe, though...I mean, the whole sibling thing. My whole life I wanted a brother or sister, and I actually had one out there the entire time and never knew it!”

“QUIET ON THE SET!!!” came the call from the director as the cameras got ready to roll. They'd be picking up just before the flare was shot. The amount of work just getting the long-range cameras set up was a pain, and they'd had to stop to make sure one of them hadn't fallen from its place after the wind picked up suddenly.

As the last line spoken was from Jean, and the next bit in the script was actually a flashback to the female titan and Armin, they had a bit of leeway for this part. Reiner waited just a few seconds before lightly calling the blond's name, the younger acting as if he'd been startled from a daydream of sorts. “Still out of it, aren't you?” he asked, tone laced with concern.

“Y-Yeah...thing's are still hazy.” Armin responded, sounding a bit embarrassed.

“I see...but, it's time to choose.” Reiner said, the sound of Jean whistling for his horse in the background. “...it's a difficult decision...but it looks like one of us will have to stay here.”

Jean stopped mid-whistle and whipped around, staring at the other incredulously. Reiner just stared back challengingly.

Armin stood up quickly, wobbling a bit. “W-wait! Before we make any decisions, let's try shooting off a flare!” The other two looked at him. “If the formation advanced straight ahead as planned, then Column 4, Squad 3 is nearby.”

Nodding, Jean grabbed the flare gun, equipping it with the round for a black smoke one. He shot it into the air, and the trio watched as it went up. “...that was the emergency flare...but I doubt they'll get our message from that alone.” he stated as he walked back over to his previous vantage point.

“Armin...we'll wait for three minutes. During that time, we need to decide on wh--”

“Me.” the small blond interrupted, shocking Reiner. “I-In return...I want you to report the following to the commander...in private, if possible.”

“Do it yourself, Armin!” came Jean's voice, drawing the other two's attention. “There's somebody headed this way...and they've got two horses!!” He faltered a bit. “It's...Christa!!”

“Are you alright?!” she called out.

Jean started laughing a bit. “You've got _my_ horse!” Said creature started butting at his head with its nose. “Woah, easy there, Buchwald!”

“He was completely spooked when he came in my direction...were you fighting titans?” She asked, turning her gaze to Armin. “A-Armin! You're wounded! Are you going to be okay...?”

He smiled reassuringly. “Yeah, I'll be fine.”

“You took a risk following that flare.” Reiner chided.

“I was close.” Christa said, brushing his tone aside. “And Jean's horse was with me, too, so...”

“A way with horses and a mysterious magnetism...” Reiner mused. “...you're a lifesaver.”

She shook her head a bit, tears welling in her eyes. “...I'm just glad you're all safe...” she murmured, wiping the moisture from her eyes. “I was so afraid...that the worst had occurred...I'm so happy you're alive!” The three guys paused at that, not entirely sure what to say. Recovering a bit, Christa smiled. “We should hurry and rejoin the others.”

Jean nodded, regaining his former composure. “S-She's right! They'll be giving the order to retreat soon! But...giving that order so soon, after not even an hour into this...that means the outlook is worse than we foresaw.”

“...that one went towards the command position in front.” Reiner said grimly.

“That one?” Christa asked, not understanding what they meant. Green flares went up suddenly from various parts of the plains.

“G-Green flares?!” Jean cried out.

“Th-That means they're just changing directions!! They're continuing the mission!” Armin exclaimed, just as surprised.

Christa looked over her shoulder. “Then they aren't going to order a retreat?!”

Jean looked at Armin as well. “What the HELL is the commander thinking?!”

“...it's the soldiers who decide if a mission can or cannot proceed...is it possible the flares didn't make it to the command squad?” Reiner asked, teeth grit together.

“We may not understand right now, but it's clear what we have to do.” Armin replied, determination in his voice. “...we have to trust their judgment on this.” He fired a green flare...

  _< (()    ())>_

“...okay, people! We managed to get all the horse-back scenes outside the forest today! I'd say we did well! Also...” the director fixed her gaze on Armin and Christa, “next time something's wrong with any part of the costuming, please tell somebody before running off to fix it yourselves.”

The pair waited until she'd walked off before bursting into a fit of giggles, much to the confusion of the rest of the cast. “...mind telling us what's so funny?” Jean asked, not appreciating being left out of a joke (especially if it involved their director).

Armin recovered first, looking at Christa. “...I dunno...should we tell them, Armin?”

“...wait, WHAT?!” was what many of the people around them said.

“Christa” started laughing again. “Oh man...the fact we pulled off the entire scene without anybody noticing is _GOLDEN_!!!”

“Armin” nodded, then reached up to pull off...a wig, the blond beside her doing the same. “Seriously, it's in the twin handbook, switching places to see if anybody catches the difference?”

Reiner balked, pointing between the two. “So...wait...the Armin we were working with was...actually Christa?!”

“Yup!” the young woman chirped.

“And the Christa who came in with the horses was...actually Armin?!” Jean choked out.

“You got it!” Armin said way too cheerfully.

The others just looked at each other, also not having spotted anything out of the ordinary until then. Connie was the first to make any sort of comment regarding the one thing that should have been disturbing them - “How the HELL did Armin get a chest, then?! I mean, Christa can bind to get rid of hers, but how the fuck did you _give_ a guy one?!”

Said man grinned evilly, removing the rice-filled balloons from the bra he'd borrowed from his twin and throwing one at Connie.

  _< (()    ())>_

“...never thought Armin'd be the one to pull that kind of shit...” Eren murmured, eyes scanning the area nervously. Some of the cast felt the need to head out after the rough day on set, and he was currently sitting at the table next to Erwin of all people. He was still antsy around the blond after being told what happened while he was doped out on pain meds, unsure if that had affected what the elder thought of him or not. So far, it appeared that it hadn't, but he couldn't be sure. “...I mean, I would've expected that from _maybe_ Connie, but Armin?”

Erwin shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. “It's the quiet ones that surprise you, I've found.” He nodded towards Annie. “Her, for example. She's so reserved during film hours that this side of her's is a bit of a shocker...actually, is Armin legal enough for her to be doing that?”

Eren blushed, turning his eyes away from the pair making out in the corner. “H-He's eighteen. He just looks a lot younger than that.” Dear God, but he felt uncomfortable right now...and the fact Annie seemed so much more experienced than his friend, too...ugh, he wasn't liking where any of his thoughts that evening had been going, to be honest (a lot were involving him and a certain very muscular blond sneaking out back and doing some very naughty things). He downed the rest of the beer he'd ordered at least an hour ago, when more of the group was there.

“...so, not much longer until the first season's done with...” the other mused. “Have to admit, it's been interesting. And not what I expected, given the premise of the series.”

“Mm...I'm more surprised it's gotten as popular as it has.” Eren added. “I mean, more than half the cast are unknowns like myself. Others are more voice actors than anything else.”

“And then there's Levi.”

Eren bust out laughing. “True! He's done a bit of everything...probably the whole reason the show's taken off, too – all his fans wanting to see him on their television screen!”

Cyan eyes looked over the edge of Erwin's glass, fixating on the brunette beside him. “...actually, while that might have been the case in the beginning...it's gotten til a lot of people are starting to tune in to watch _you_ , Eren.”

“M-Me?”

He nodded, setting his beverage down. “You obviously don't listen to Sasha and Connie when they're going on about the forums, do you? You're right below Levi in the popularity polls.”

Scarlet stained Eren's cheeks. “...that's crazy...I'm...I'm really nobody – just some unknown who got lucky in casting.”

“That's not how the crew spun the tale...I'm fairly sure they were raving about an up-and-coming young star who practically fell into their lap.” Erwin grinned. “Quite literally, if I recall what the casting department has to say about your less than graceful first attempt with the maneuver gear.”

“Please don't remind me of that...” Eren muttered, burying his face in his arms with mortification. “That is something I _really_ don't need to remember, like, ever.”

“I don't think any of us did well the first time with that...it's a difficult piece of equipment, that's for sure.” He leaned back, chuckling when he caught sight of Levi leading an intoxicated Hanji out of the building. “...looks like he'll have his hands full tonight. I told you Levi's bad when drunk, right? Hanji's worse.”

Eren shuddered. “If it's gonna end up like earlier, then I don't need to know. As long as they _never_ do that again, I'll be safe and sane!”

“Oh, rest assured, they will.”

“...I'm too sober to deal with the mental imagery that's producing...” the brunette groaned. Erwin just laughed as the other actor ordered himself another beer...


	6. Well This is Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi and Hanji are an old married couple, Jean and Marco have a long-distance relationship, dating older is a sign of maturity, and Eren is an adorkable ball of precious out of character.
> 
> (Discontinued)

…...yes, the end of last chapter _was_ just there as a lead to this one. I've had some asks as to when the Eruren is gonna happen, so here you go – it's happening. (This is kind of just a filler chapter because I'm running out of show material until Season 2 of the anime comes out, which'll be a while).

Also, I'd like to thank Sara for her comment. I'd forgotten that it's only same-sex twins who can be identical (which pulls a derp moment for me because _I SHOULD KNOW THIS_ , there are quite a few sets of twins in my family). So, for the sake of the story, Armin and Christa are just very similar looking fraternal twins. This scenario would probably never happen in reality, but hey, this is fiction, it is called fiction for a reason. Okay, no more rambling from me! On with the show!

  _< (()    ())>_

The first thing Eren noticed that morning was that he had a hangover. Nothing too out of the ordinary after drinking with friends, to be honest. Sunlight became the second thing he noticed, and that was a bit odd, as his bedroom window didn't face the sun in the morning...did he pass out on the couch? Maybe...that'd explain the extra weight, then – Lucky was on him.

...except that the shiba didn't have arms currently wrapping around his waist and pulling him back against a very warm, very broad chest...

...well, shit...this was going to turn out to be an interesting morning, and he wasn't sure he wanted it to.

The hold around his middle tightened, and he heard a soft groan come from the man, a good signal that he was waking up. Eren held his breath, pretending to still be asleep (because maybe if he was still asleep, then whoever he was currently with wouldn't kick him out just yet?), keeping as quiet as possible.

“...so that wasn't just a dream...” the sleep-roughened voice of none other than one Erwin Smith muttered. “...dammit...” He sighed heavily, sounding rather upset with himself. “...Eren...I can tell you're awake. People tend to breathe when they're asleep.”

“U-um...yeah...” said brunette muttered, letting the held breath out in a rush as he did. He rolled over, hesitantly looking up into the elder man's eyes. “...E-Erwin...y-you're not mad at me, are you?”

A blond eyebrow raised. “Why'd I be mad at you...? We were both drunk.”

“I'm...fairly sure I had more than you did.” Eren said.

“...still not your fault.” He sighed again. “...I still have my pants on, so I'm going to make the assumption we passed out before anything could actually happen.” When he received no reply, he looked down to find a heavily blushing brunette. “...that's a good thing, Eren, considering I doubt neither of us remember much of the night.”

Eren nodded, finding his voice. “Y-Yeah...” He bit his lip. “Umm...Erwin?”

“Hm?”

“...c-could you...um...shut your eyes for a bit? You're actually wearing more than I am...and I have no idea where you might've thrown my underwear...”

  _< (()    ())>_

Dressed and drinking coffee, the pair sat in the living room, an awkward silence between them. Eren shifted every two minutes, not able to meet the elder's eyes for longer than a second before looking away with red staining his cheeks. Erwin found that feeling of guilt from earlier returning. He rarely let himself get so carried away, and for reasons like this in particular. While he was glad nothing had actually happened, this was still going to put a strain on their relationship on set. Sighing, he moved closer, sitting next to Eren. “...we're not getting anywhere just...staying silent.” he murmured. “I'll admit, last night wasn't one of my better ones. I don't drink that often, and usually it's never that much...so some of this really is my fault. If I'd had better judgment, then--”

“No.” Eren said softly, interrupting the other. “...there's no guarantee. I...I shouldn't have had as much as I did, either...but we got caught up in the moment, _especially_ when some of them started that drinking game, and just...” He paused, bringing his gaze up from his cup. “...look, I'm _sorry_ , okay? But, if you're going to just sit there and tell me to forget this ever happened, then...then I'm afraid that's not going to happen. What I can remember...it was good. And...And while this isn't exactly how I'd ever foreseen this whole thing going down in my head – or ever – I...I do like you...a lot...” Eren huffed. “...Mikasa told me what I'd said after the courtroom scene...and yeah, I meant that...you...you really _are_ hot, you know...but...that isn't the only reason I like you...ugh, I can't put everything into words right now...” Sighing, he looked away again. “...this probably ruined any chance I might've had, though. I mean, it'd be _way_ too awkward now, and just...” He trailed off when Erwin's soft chuckling caught his attention. “You're _laughing_ at me?!”

“Not at you, at the fact I was worried over the same thing...” The blond smiled. “...why do you think I suddenly started hanging around you more often? I've been trying to get to know you better before actually asking you on a date.”

The brunette swore that if he blushed one more time, his face would be permanently red. He didn't really have anything to say to that.

Erwin shook his head. “...well...today was given as a day off after all the horse-back filming we had to do...is there anything in particular you feel like doing?”

Eren grinned. “I thought the date was supposed to come before we slept with each other, though.”

“So we went the unconventional route. As long as the results are the same, I think we'll manage.” Some shared laughter before the blond turned serious. “...I'll warn you now, though – we get together, it's not going to be easy. I'll wager it's because they're LDR that Jean and Marco aren't hounded by paparazzi all the time.” When Eren looked confused, he sighed. “...rising stars in a homosexual relationship? Who in the press wouldn't want that kind of scoop? And with you and me, there's some good years between us. Even _more_ fodder for their stories.” He brought a hand up to Eren's face, blue eyes filled with concern. “...I'm not trying to scare you, Eren...but I've seen some of the best couples fall apart because of the media. If you don't think you're ready to deal with what could happen, then I can wait as long as you need.”

Eren placed his hand over Erwin's. “...that...that's kinda giving me the courage I need right there...I mean, knowing you'd wait until I'm willing to face the fucking press of all things...” He chuckled. “...not many people would say that.”

“Not many people are actors wanting to date their co-star, who just happens to also be male.”

“Mm...true.” Eren hummed. “...but screw them.” He balked. “Not, like, literally, of course. I just mean they can go stick something spiked and rusty up their asses if they try to give us hell.”

“Really, now?”

“Really.” Slowly, Eren stood up, stretching. “...and in response to your earlier question, I honestly don't have a clue what to do today.” He thought for a moment. “...well, even if we did go anywhere, we'd have to go by my apartment first...I didn't go home last night, so Lucky's probably going nuts.”

“Lucky...?”

  _< (()    ())>_

Getting pounced by a hyperactive, howling shiba inu hadn't been on his to-do list of life, but Erwin had to admit...seeing the huge smile on Eren's face at how his dog was still okay was worth it. Mikasa had apparently been by to check on her, a note on the table expressing her clear disdain of his behavior last night and how “he shouldn't be acting like that now that he's becoming somebody people will begin to look up to.” Eren grinned sheepishly, agreeing with her a bit. “...well...it's not like anything _bad_ came out of the whole thing...” he said, amber eyes hopeful as they looked over to Erwin.

“...your dog is glaring at me...”

Eren huffed. “No! You are NOT going to be the next one to be scared off by this girl. That has happened too much, so no!” He latched onto Erwin's arm, pouting. “You're not allowed to leave me because of the dog...so meh!” He would've said more, but his phone chose to ring just then. Sighing, he dug it out of his pocket. “Hello? Oh, Mikasa!” He stepped away, talking to his sister and sounding a bit annoyed. “I'm fine...no, nothing happe—Mikasa, he didn't take advantage of me! Sheesh, you're making it sound like he's some creepy pervert! ...ugh, you're sounding like Mom...no, I'm back at the apartment...yessss, he's with me. You know I don't drive, so how _else_ do you think I got here? ...well, yeah, but do you really think I'd risk the bus or something with my apparently rising fame? I still think you all are nuts for thinking I'm popular, by the way.” The way Eren's face suddenly turned paper white concerned Erwin. “Wh-What?! No, you don't need to come over here!! Mikasa, I'm fine!! Nothing happened, I'm serious!!” His voice went up a few octaves. “Why are you threatening to castrate him?! I'm telling you – he didn't do anything!! No, I'm not just protecting him!! Mikasa, don't you hang u-- fuck...” He whipped around, eyes wide. “Erwin...she's coming over here on the fucking warpath...”

The blond scratched the back of his neck. “...she'd really try to...?”

Eren nodded. “Short of yanking my pants off and checking for herself? Yeah, she would. She's probably _worse_ than her character when it comes to this...ugh, of all the things to happen, why'd I get stuck with the most over-protective sister on the planet?!” He flopped back onto his couch, burrowing his face into a cushion. “...we're so dead...”

Shaking his head, Erwin walked over, sitting next to the younger as best he could. “...I would think she'd be more understanding if we just explained it to her.”

“I don't know...” the brunette grumbled, taking his glasses off and setting them aside. He got up enough for the other to properly sit on the couch before flopping back down, his head now resting in the elder's lap. “...she'd better not try anything, otherwise she's getting the banhammer for everything except work.”

The blond couldn't help laughing at how serious Eren was when he said that.

  _< (()    ())>_

“...so he's not threatening you in any way? He didn't hurt you last night, didn't take advantage of you, and isn't just telling you to not say anything or else?” Mikasa asked, tone level.

“...I'm standing right here, you realize.” Erwin sighed.

Eren gave an apologetic glance before turning back to his sister. “Mikasa, it's fine. Yeah, it went a bit far, but we both passed out before anything serious happened.” When her glare didn't soften out in the slightest, he rolled his eyes. “...ugh, _yes_ , Mom, my precious virginity is still intact.”

“Eren!” “Wh-What the...?!” Both of them spluttered in embarrassment at the words that had just left the brunette's mouth, Mikasa because she did not need to hear about her brother's sex life, Erwin due to...well, that wasn't something one normally heard.

Amber eyes rolled again. “ _You're_ the one who was asking. I might've been drunk off my ass last night, but considering I can _walk_ today, I'm...mmph!!!” A large hand covered his mouth.

“...please stop talking before you scar us all further...”

“...agreed.”


	7. Season's End and Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi and Hanji are an old married couple, Jean and Marco have a long-distance relationship, dating older is a sign of maturity, and Eren is an adorkable ball of precious out of character.
> 
> (Discontinued)

Not looking forward to this, for some reason...could it be that I'M RUNNING OUT OF MATERIAL?!?! **sobs** The dreaded word of “hiatus” looms before me like a dagger to the heart!! Fear not, I have other plans - the collected side-works off this is a go, so the AU as a whole isn't going away.

Oh, and if you've never played Cards Against Humanity, YOU NEED TO!!! (I'm using actual cards in that section. The tag is there for a reason. It is a game that has the potential to be hilarious yet offensive. Skip that section if you aren't a fan of that...otherwise, enjoy these guys being little shits while playing C.A.H. and just generally trying not to laugh at how inappropriate this card game is.)

  _< (()    ())>_

The filming of Stohess went without too much difficulty. A retake of the scene where Jean reveals he isn't Eren (as he tripped getting out of the carriage), and a break for Annie to change into the back-up suit due to a tear incurred from her run in with the church (or, if you were to ask Connie and Sasha, from where she twerked into the church).

“Good thing we have these back-ups, right?” Eren asked Annie, set on the other side of the tent they'd put on set for quick make-up fixes on the two shifters. The two were separated by a curtain for modesty's sake, even though Eren had just been dragged in so they could double check that he, too, wouldn't need to change out.

“Mm...though, why they actually used stone for the damn scale model is beyond me...” she responded. “Isn't that what the artists are for?”

“Eeigh...did you get cut, too?”

“Just about.”

The two fell silent while the costumiers continued to work. “...so...you and Armin.” Eren eventually asked, a muttered “Ow!” leaving him after when one of the workers accidentally stood on his toe when trying to reach his false ear.

“What about it?” Annie murmured, letting out a sigh as she was fully zipped into the suit. She absolutely _hated_ these things, but even she had to admit, the look was uncanny. It honestly seemed like she didn't have skin.

“Nothing...it's just kinda odd. He never seemed interested in...well... _anyone_. So to just hear that he's suddenly with somebody...”

The blond could understand that. “...you don't have to worry about him.” Annie reassured, offering a small smile as they both stepped out. “I won't hurt him. He's...actually one of the good ones. I've never met a guy sweeter than him before.”

Eren laughed. “Yeah, you've got that one right!” He smiled. “...if you do hurt him, so help me, I'll sic Mikasa on you.” They both shared a laugh over that one as they headed back to their prior positions.

  _< (()    ())>_

“Okay, people!! That is a WRAP!!” the director called, watching as many of the cast and crew celebrated the successful end of the filming of their first season. “Hey, we're only a mini-series! Don't get _too_ excited, folks!” she chided playfully before walking over to the group still brandishing bright green cloaks. “You guys better spend this break well – I've heard the writers brainstorming a lot of ways to torture the Scouting Legion, and some of them aren't too pretty. Also...” she whipped around to Reiner and Bertholdt. “You two need to be fitted again for suits – we're making the Armored Titan and Colossal Titan official for you guys. Head over to costuming before you leave; they've already got the old ones, so it _hopefully_ won't be too much work.” She then turned to Eren. “Jaeger, come with me a bit. I'd like to run something by you before the writers take this.”

“Uh...sure...”

As soon as they were a decent ways away, she turned to the brunette. “...I know we've tormented you as a character quite a bit, but there's gonna be a bit more to go through. You're a titan shifter, so it's to be expected.” He nodded, vaguely aware of where she might be going with this. “...obviously there's a reason we've got those two coming back in as the two variants.”

He thought it over for a moment. “...I'm guessing they'll be antagonists like Annie was?”

She hummed an affirmative. “...those two aren't the only “new” shifters we're introducing. We haven't picked who yet, but it's going to be another of the 104 troop. More or less, this is a heads-up for you. You aren't gonna be the special one anymore, Eren.” She grinned. “Looks like you'll be facing some major competition for the spotlight. Think you can handle it?”

“I'll do my best. Can't let the fans down, now can I?” He gave his trademark smile, fully intent on keeping those words.

  _< (()    ())>_

“Okay, Levi? Your place is seriously awesome.” came the awed comment from Armin as he looked around. The veteran actor had (upon the insistent prodding of Hanji) invited the cast over for a sort-of-farewell-party/we-survived-season-one-celebration as soon as they could all leave set.

“Yeah, yeah, just don't make a mess...you do, you're staying til tomorrow cleaning it.” he grumbled, stalking off further into the  house.

Hanji giggled. “Oh, pay no mind to him – he's just upset because his cute ass isn't on television anymore til we start season two!!” She laughed louder when her husband yelled “I heard that!” from the kitchen where he was currently making himself some tea.

Erwin shook his head, sighing at his two friends and their antics. Eren sat curled against him, chatting idly with the two newly-pronounced shifters. “...yeah, just...if you choose to bite your hand like I do, be careful not to actually bite hard enough to pierce through.”

“Whoa, when did that happen?” Reiner asked, leaning over the back of the couch.

“You guys were getting set up for the bit where everybody'd chose which branch they'd join. The rest of us were filming the Squad Levi pieces, some of it for the flashback set during the forest episode. I was down in the well when it happened.”

Bertholdt grimaced. “So...the blood was...?”

“Yup. That was actually mine.”

Hanji flopped on the section not taken up by Erwin and Eren, laughing. “No need to sound so proud of that, Eren! You had everybody freaking out when we saw that was _real blood_ , y'know! Oh, _man_ , how were you not screaming or something?!”

“...I started cussing in German, if that helps any...”

The group fell back into hysterics again.

  _< (()    ())>_

“...okay, whoever thought this game up is an insane genius and I love them.” Sasha cackled, drawing a black card from the stack. Those who still remained (Sasha, Armin, Erwin, Eren, Levi, Hanji, Annie, and Mikasa) had decided to drag out Hanji's copy of “Cards Against Humanity,” mostly because some of them had never played before and the brunette insisted that you hadn't lived until you'd played at least once. “Okay...A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without...what?” A card was slammed down before she even finished the question. She blinked. “...that was quick.” The remaining cards were played, and she picked them up. “So...A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without: a sad handjob, tongue, chunks of dead prostitute, BATMAN!!!!, panda sex, 8 oz of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin, and...” Sasha paused, trying not to burst out in laughter. “Oh my God, who put smegma down?!” The whole group broke down, especially when Levi made the most horrified face. “Oh man...just because he made that face, I'm going with smegma!!” Sasha chortled. Mikasa held her hand out, the brunette placing the black card in it – one point for her.

“...I fucking hate you for that.” Levi growled.

“I know.” she said with the sweetest of smiles as she drew her card. “...alright. In LA County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for...?”

It took a moment for the others to choose their white cards to play, but choose they did.

Mikasa looked unimpressed as she picked them up, but it quickly changed as soon as she read the first one. “...pfft!” She shook her head, recovering enough to read it aloud. “In LA County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for a fetus.”

“It's true, I've done it.” Everyone stared at Annie for a moment before she cracked up. “I'm joking!”

“...In LA County Jail, you can trade 200 cigarettes for...a sad, fat dragon with no friends? What the hell?!” Rolling her eyes, she continued, eventually choosing the one that got the most laughs - “Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.”

“My turn now...” Erwin mused, drawing his card. “...this could be interesting...What's the gift that keeps on giving?” Cards went down fast. He blinked in surprise at how quickly they did. “...okay then. Let's see what that particular gift is...” He picked up the small stack. “Is it shiny objects? An...ohmygod...an erection that lasts longer than four hours? Is it...(he held back laughter) Is it my collection of high-tech sex toys?” He glared around the group. “...this was entirely on purpose, wasn't it?” Snickers rose up from them all. “...is it flying sex snakes? Pixelated bukkake? Being awesome at sex? Or is it tentacle porn?” Shaking his head, he sighed. “Just because I'm fairly sure I know who played it...the high-tech sex toys.”

Levi sighed, taking the black card from Erwin's outstretched hand. “Dammit...how'd you figure it out?” He drew, then glared. “...who shuffled, because I'm fairly sure the deck is stacked.”

“Honey, just read it.” Hanji chuckled.

“Fine...When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of...” Levi rolled his eyes. “...play whatever – I'm already expecting the worst.” The few that didn't know him looked confused. “I'm Jewish. This game really doesn't shock me in the slightest – I've heard it all. But I'm serious, if this deck was stacked so that I would pick up this card, I will beat up the person who did it.”

“Aww, you wouldn't do that. Besides, even you've had a good laugh or two at some of what pops up from this game! And look at me – I make fun of my religion all the time!” Hanji cooed, putting a card down.

“Wait, you're not...?”

The older brunette grinned. “Nope! Made for an interesting wedding – a Catholic and a Jew? Our families were about ready to murder each other for a while there!! Oh, the stories we could tell...”

“Not like you're the most _devout_ out there...” Levi said.

“You're not the best, either, sweetie. Your mother would send you to an early grave if she knew of half the stuff you've done.”

“...meh.”

  _< (()    ())>_

“...so why were you getting so flustered over that one card?” Eren asked, curled back up against Erwin after the game had ended. Annie and Armin had left not long ago, Sasha had passed out (Levi, ever the gentleman, carried her to the guestroom), which left the rest of them to their own devices.

Erwin chuckled. “You wouldn't be if everybody handed you sex-related cards?”

Levi gave a mischievous glance over the rim of his glass. “...or it could have to do with the fact you _do_ have a rather interesting collection of toys...” He grinned evilly when the blond choked on his own drink. “I've known you for _how_ long now? Don't you think I'd be aware of shit like that?”

Hanji got a grin of her own. “More like you two got up to some kinky shit before he met me.” It was Levi's turn to nearly spit out his drink, glaring at his wife. “Oh, please, you and Erwin have been friends since high school. Teenagers experiment. You really think I didn't have a fling or two with a chick back in the day?”

“...who are you, and what have you done with my wife?”

Mikasa shook her head before sending a glance over to the blond. “...if what the shrimp just said is true, then you'd better not try anything with my brother unless he's completely okay with it. I will castrate you with a butter knife if I have to.”

Eren groaned. “...Mikasa, we've been through this...”

“I'm only looking out for you.”

“You don't have to. I'm twenty-two. I'm an adult, and can do the adult-supervision for myself now.”

“Can you? Can you really? I seem to recall a few nights ago when you got shitfaced and went home with a certain blond who was also rather drunk...”

“UGH!!! Okay, fine, so I sometimes have a lapse of judgment! Who doesn't on occasion?! I remember when I had to babysit your ass because you didn't know that punk roommate of yours in college put weed in her brownies!!”

“THAT WAS ONE TIME!”

The other three just watched with amusement as the siblings bickered. Ah...youth...


	8. Convention Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi and Hanji are an old married couple, Jean and Marco have a long-distance relationship, dating older is a sign of maturity, and Eren is an adorkable ball of precious out of character.
> 
> (Discontinued)

So, this might be the last chapter for a while. And we were just starting to have fun, too! Oh well, at least everybody's been having a good time...I hope. Also, I changed a certain anime name in here (see if you can guess what it actually is). And I tried to make this chapter longer than normal, cause, again, this might be the last one for a bit. Anyway, enjoy!

  _< (()    ())>_

“Can you believe we're going to a con?! I can't believe we're going to a con!!” Hanji squealed from where she sat next to Levi, sounding as excited as her character. “I've _never_ been to a convention before!! None of my roles were ever “big” enough to warrant my going...ne, ne, Levi – you've been to this one, right?! What's it like?? It's one of the largest, isn't it?? Am I right?! Am I – mmpgh!!!”

Levi had leaned over and was kissing her to shut her the hell up. “...yes, I've been to this one before, for voice work in Dark Servant.” he answered after a minute or two. “It's decent sized, but I'm fairly sure there's a larger one east-coast than this.”

Christa chuckled, turning back around and leaning her head against Ymir's shoulder. “How he's survived so long with her being that hyper almost all the time looks like a miracle...” she murmured, the taller woman nodding in agreement. They turned back around when they heard shouting (thankful the cast and what crew was with them had a private jet for this).

“WHO IS HAVING SEX IN THE BATHROOM?!” came the incredulous cry from one of the writers who just so happened to be sitting near it.

All was silent until Eren elbowed Erwin in the side, not looking up from his game as he held his palm out as if asking for something. The blond sighed and fished his wallet out. The others just stared. “...he bet me fifty that Jean and Marco wouldn't be able to wait til we got to the hotel before going at it. Obviously, he won.” When said pair emerged after a while, they were met with awkward looks from most, an apologetic glance from Erwin, and a very smug looking Eren.

  _< (()    ())>_

“So, I don't have to explain to you all that, during the late-night panel, you'll probably be getting a lot of...personal...questions, right?” their director asked, looking very formal compared to the usual clothes she always wore on set. “Obviously, the rest of the crew and myself aren't going to be up there, but we _are_ going to be throughout the audience, _and_ we'll be at the doors when people are coming in – that particular one isn't to have any sort of press, cameras, etc. The fans are expected to turn their phones off, especially the ones that have internet access. Again, we're cracking down on all of this, and should we find any of tonight's panel publicized in any form...well, the legalese isn't my forte.” Smiling, she turned to the Shiganshina Trio. “Oh...and I have some people who are very eager to see you three...” Stepping aside, the three blinked before they were tackled by one child each.

“Evan...?!” Eren cried out before picking up the kid, swinging him around.

“Mira...” Mikasa said softly, kneeling down in front of the little girl.

Armin smiled, ruffling the blond child's hair. “Alex...how've you been?”

“Can you _believe_ the size of this place?!” Evan squealed, arms wrapped tight around Eren's neck as the elder held him. “It's so BIG!! They could fit a titan in here!! NO!! _TWO TITANS_!!!”

“...they wouldn't want to, though...titans eat people...” Alex stated shyly, hugging Armin's leg.

Mira rolled her eyes at the two. “Mikasa-nee-chan, they've been noisy this whole time...can we go somewhere else?”

Mikasa chuckled, a bit touched that the younger called her “big sister” (and in Japanese, too, no less). “In a bit, maybe. We all have to be in a panel soon...and when did you learn to speak Japanese, hmm??”

The child blushed. “I started learning not long after we stopped filming...I...I wanna be like you!!” (The group would die of the collective cuteness – it was inevitable.)

Evan blinked after a moment, a look of horror coming across his face. “I almost forgot!! Eren, I got you something!! I mean, I missed your birthday, and I _reeeeeeeally_ wanted to get you something, 'cuz you're totally awesome!!” He squirmed out of Eren's arms, running over to where his mother sat and grabbing a hastily wrapped box. “Well...I kinda _just_ got it today...but I hope you like it!!”

“You didn't have to get me anything, Evan. Really!” the older brunette chuckled, accepting the box and ever so carefully undoing some of the paper. He paused as soon as he got one side of it revealed, glancing up at the kid. “...you didn't...you _so_ didn't...do you know how much I've been wanting one of these?!” A huge grin split his face, and he picked up both the present and Evan, walking over to his mom, leaving a confused group behind them. The confusion grew when Evan dragged his older “self” off in another direction, both of them shouting they'd be right back.

“...what could the kid have gotten him that's got him so excited?” Jean questioned, not noticing the shared grin of the two remaining children. They knew exactly what it was, but _they_ weren't going to tell!

Exactly ten minutes later, a giggling duo came running back over (or, in Evan's case, getting a piggyback ride from Eren). “...oh dear God, Eren's...Eren's got cat ears!” Connie choked out, laughing hysterically.

“You bought him a nekomimi?!” Sasha asked, also laughing herself breathless. “Evan, you realize we're never going to get him to take it off, right?!”

“Uh huh!” the little boy giggled, infinitely pleased with himself as the white ears twitched happily near his face. “Now we have a kitty-titan fighting for humanity!”

Everyone couldn't help but break into laughter as they got up to head for their panel.

  _< (()    ())>_

“...we felt that the cast was already pretty distinct in diversity, even with some of the “minor” characters – the ones who died earlier on, so to say. The story is a dystopian world, where the remnants of humanity have had to live within walls to survive. Cultures once distinct have _had_ to blend, but – as seen in the episode where Mikasa remembers her birth parents – there are still small things that keep them separate. Names are probably some of the few things that give any sort of hint to the world outside, to the fact that civilization was once so much greater than it is now. We wanted to capture that, and as each cast member was found, it fell into place – these were the names that could work.” The head writer had received the question of why not use original names, and had quite the answer. “Honestly, I was surprised at some of them. That episode mentioned? We actually wrote that one _around_ Mikasa's – she actually is half-Japanese.”

“It was a bit of a shock to them, as I apparently don't look it.” she chuckled, bringing some light laughter from the crowd. “Of course, Eren over there,” she glanced down the table, “doesn't have a full-German name like everybody thinks he does. We read those forums, people.”

Eren sighed, the ears on his head drooping (like they'd said, he refused to take the nekomimi off). “Yeah...my first name is Turkish. Don't ask me to translate – I have no idea.”

A hand raised from the audience, and the assistant writer – now delegated to taking the wireless mic around to people asking questions – went over. “So, if Levi and Hanji are married in real life, why isn't Hanji's last name “Bardot” in the show?”

“We were actually contemplating using Levi's last name already, an idea shot down in the final scripting. As their characters aren't married, Hanji's maiden name of Zoe became our option.”

Another hand shot up. “Ymir also doesn't have a surname. Care to share?”

She sighed, rolling her eyes a bit. “It's Steilsson. Dad's from Iceland, Mom's a history major with a fondness for ancient mythology. Go look up some Nordic lore for my first name – it's actually pretty interesting.” Ymir huffed out a laugh. “...at least she chose this name, and not something complicated like Hölgabrúðr or something...”

The person who'd asked the question was silent for a moment. “...I have no idea what you just said, but...okay!”

A young woman in a button-up and skirt stood, a press badge dangling from her neck. “Ahem...I know I'm not allowed to post this anywhere or the like...but the rumors have been flying, and professional curiosity is just bugging me on this. The boards have all the relationships listed – obviously the Bardots, and the recent two couples: Jean and Marco, Annie and Armin, Ymir and Christa. But, as I said – rumors. Is it true that Erwin and Eren are seeing each other?” Murmurs started flying through the gathered crowd. _Was_ it true?

Eren sent a nervous glance towards Erwin, unsure if this was the best way to announce it or not – they hadn't wanted to make it official to the public yet. Their friends, yes, they could. But the public...Erwin saw the look and could tell it wasn't going to be an easy decision for either of them to make. Eren bit his lip, and gave the other a tiny nod, just imperceptible enough that only Erwin would be able to see it, as he was sitting next to him. It wasn't how they'd planned it, but...well, if the others could do it, so could they. “Yes...we are.” Eren said into the mic after a breath, hand clasping his boyfriend's under the table for moral support.

The same woman from before looked a bit shocked. “So, despite the fact you're both male _and_ there's at least ten years between the two of yo--”

Evan stood up in his chair, cutting the woman off. “Hey, lady! Shut up! They're obviously happy, and why should any of that matter, anyway?! You gonna argue next that love can't exist between him and Mikasa just 'cuz they're siblings?! HUH?!”

“Mother told me that there shouldn't be anything wrong with how people like each other...” Alexander said softly. “People shouldn't be told who they can and can't be with.”

Mira nodded, glaring at the woman. “There's all kinds of love, too. Just because theirs doesn't fit your little boxes doesn't mean you should be mean!”

The room was silent as the woman sat down, looking a bit flustered at having been told off by _children_ , of all the people. A few people then started clapping, and then more joined in. The cast and crew had never been more proud of their youngest members, and Eren smiled, sinking against Erwin's side in relief. Their fight would still be tough, but it was nice to know they wouldn't be stuck on their own.

  _< (()    ())>_

“Awww, but _WE_ wanna go to this one, too!!” all three of the kids whined, trying to convince everyone to let them go to the nighttime interview panel, too.

Evan's mother – the chaperone for all three, deities bless her – knelt down and ruffled their hair. “They'll probably be getting asked a lot of questions _you_ guys aren't ready for just yet. Besides, Mira, Alexander, I promised your parents I'd keep your bedtimes!” She looked around a bit. “...buuuuuut...if you'll come on back to the room with me, I might fudge _juuusssst_ a little. I think there's some chocolate that I might have “forgotten” to take out of my suitcase before coming down here, and all that sugar would just keep you three up for _HOURS_!!!” She found three children tugging on various parts, trying to get her to hurry up, there was candy! Smiling as she turned to wink at the others over her shoulder, she corralled the kids towards their room upstairs.

“...how she has the patience to deal with those three is beyond me.” Jean chuckled, wrapping an arm around Marco's waist. “I don't think I could deal with even one for more than a couple hours.”

Bertholt laughed from nearby. “You'd be surprised how easily you get used to them. Trust me – I've got younger siblings.”

Reiner rolled his eyes. “...don't remind me. My younger brother is a pain in the ass. I don't even want to know where he's learned half the shit he's been saying – he's 13, and he's got worse language than Levi.”

“I take offense to that.”

“Oh please, you cursed like a drunken sailor after that ankle injury. In both French AND English.” Hanji countered. “And don't get me started on what you say during sex.” Levi shot her a glare that could murder the devil.

“...at least I don't cuss out the cat for just a little scratch.”

“That was _not_ just a “little scratch!” I looked like somebody had mauled me!”

“Right...because a couple of tiny bandages counts as a deathly injury.”

“Levi Bardot, I swear, you love that cat more than me!”

“...the cat doesn't leave a hurricane sized mess behind him.”

“At least when I puke, you don't have to clean up after me!”

The two started bickering back and forth over the cat, of all things. It was oddly hilarious, yet at the same time, so, so sad. “...they really are an old married couple, aren't they?” Connie muttered to Annie.

“WE ARE NOT OLD!!!” the pair snapped, glaring daggers at the young man. He just held up his hands in defense, scooting to hide behind Reiner.

  _< (()    ())>_

True to expectations, the after-dark was filled with incredibly personal questions, and they were ever so glad the crew was out in the audience making sure nobody was filming, voice recording, or just _writing_ their answers down. Some of the answers given were hilarious, though.

“So, _everybody_ knows Levi has done voice acting. I'm kinda curious as to whether anybody else up there has.” a young man – probably just barely legal enough to even be in the audience – asked.

Eren very, very timidly raised his hand. The whole cast looked at him. “...t-to be perfectly clear, I'd _just_ moved out on my own, and was trying to get into the biz...”

Jean choked at the other end of the table. “YOU DUBBED A HENTAI?!”

Eren nodded before hiding his face in his arms on the table.

“Oh my God, you gotta spill now!” Sasha squealed. “What role?!”

“...they were casting the uke...” came the embarrassed mutter, only caught because Mikasa put the microphone close. Everybody there started laughing.

“So how'd _that_ work out? Do we wanna know how you got those moans out?” Bertholt teased, Reiner snickering beside him.

Eren's head flew up, his face bright red. “You are NOT implying that...that I did stuff in the sound booth!”

Levi snorted. “Wouldn't be the first time somebody has. I'm sure the people who work on those dubs could tell you plenty of stories.”

“...I hate you _all_.” the poor brunette whined, sinking low into his seat. “Pleeeease, can we just go to another question?!”

A young woman this time. “Have any of the couples been caught doing stuff on set.”

The whole group point to Levi and Hanji. “No, you don't understand!” Gunther – who, along with the other three of Squad Levi, was standing behind the pair – exclaimed. “It's almost become a game of sorts to see who can find them in the most awkward position or weirdest places! Eren stumbles on them in the _worst_ of times pretty much by accident. There's literally a scene in the show where they almost got caught on camera!”

“Not to mention we have to break them apart when they start fighting...though that sometimes leads to interesting shenanigans, too.” Petra added.

Hanji pointed at all four of them. “You all need to hush, otherwise I'm gonna sic him on you!”

Some of the others barely restrained some laughter. Eren leaned up to whisper something into Erwin's ear, causing the blond to start shaking as he tried to hold back. Levi and Hanji looked at the two. “...do we want to know?” Levi asked, a bit wary of what the pair could possibly be saying.

“Nothing!” Eren said quickly. “Nothing at all!” Erwin had, in the meantime, leaned over to tell it to some of the others.

“...it's not “nothing” if Erwin's still passing it along.” Levi argued.

Eren grinned, amber eyes shining with mischief. “...just that we're not sure if she should be sicking you on them. I mean, if what we heard last night from your hotel room was anything to go by...”

Silver eyes flashed with murderous rage. “Eren, I swear to _GOD_ , if you utter one word...”

The brunette didn't have to. Erwin coughed behind his hand and, in a slightly higher pitch, said it for him. “Ooh, _Hanji_ , do me harder!”

Levi's face flushed so dark they were worried there wasn't going to be enough blood for the rest of his body. “...Erwin, I hate you.”

Marco was laughing his ass off. “What was she _doing_?! Pegging you?!”

“We are _not_ going to discuss my and my husband's sex life, thank you very much!”

“You know what, sure. Why not?” Jean turned to Marco. “So, how's ours been recently?”

“Obviously not as interesting as those two at the end of the table!” The crowd started laughing again.

  _< (()    ())>_

“Seriously, girl, I look away for two seconds, and this shit happens.” Ymir sighed out, dragging a drunk Christa back to their room. “How'd you even convince those guys to buy drinks for you?”

The blond giggled, leaning against her girlfriend. “I didn't have to...they were all, oh heeeeyyyy that's the cutie from that show!! Drinks on us!!” She giggled again. “I only had two...”

“Yeah, and they happened to be mixed drinks, which are a whole lot worse for you because of the higher alcohol content. Not to mention, you're still eighteen.” The elder woman sighed again. “Remind me to never take you drinking once you're legal, though...I think you were probably wasted after the first one.”

“Nope! So not drunk!”

“If you're denying it, then you probably are.”

Christa shook her head again before focusing on the room they were about to pass. “Hey, hey, that's Jean and Marco's room, right?!” She pushed herself away from Ymir, stumbling over to the door. “Oh maaaaaaan, they are going _at_ it!!” the blond whispered, the giggles back, just softer this time. Ymir didn't have a chance to stop her before the drunken teen shouted through the door, “Yeeaaah, ride 'em cowboy!! Ride that horse!!”

“Fuck, what the hell?! Christa?!” came Jean's muffled voice from inside, sounding both flustered and pissed off.

Rolling her eyes, Ymir pulled the younger off the door. “Sorry...she managed to get drunk.” she called through. “I'm _trying_ to get her back to our room.”

Silence. “...how the _fuck_ did she get alcohol in the first place?” Marco asked.

“Fanboys thinking she was old enough.”

“...she's gonna be hungover tomorrow for the plane ride.”

“I'm aware.” Ymir sighed before steering the cackling blond onwards, shaking her head when she caught Jean muttering about how that was a boner killer if there ever was one.

They paused when they saw Eren sitting outside his and Erwin's room, slightly across the hall from theirs. “...everything okay?”

“...they're too fucking loud.” He nodded over toward the room beside his. Ah – the married couple's. “Seriously, don't they think some people might just want to sleep before the fucking plane trip back to Cali? Not everybody's a damn rabbit.”

“I got this!” Christa said, moving over.

Ymir just looked at Eren. “...might want to go back into your room. Levi'll be coming out here ticked off in a minute.”

“...good idea.” He shook his head as he stood up and unlocked the door, chuckling a bit as Christa started yelling how Hanji needed to do him harder, ram that thing up his ass. He was a bit surprised to see Erwin laying awake, arms under his head and just staring at the ceiling. “...thought you were asleep?”

“Kind of hard to when the headboard opposite yours is banging relentlessly and your best friend is begging his wife to fuck him.” He glanced over at Eren. “That, and the bed suddenly got cold on one side...care to explain how that happened?”

Eren laughed a bit, setting his glasses on the nightstand before slipping under the covers to curl up beside the blond. “Wouldn't have a clue.” He sighed as an arm came down to wrap around his shoulders. “...think they'll stop since Christa interrupted them?”

Erwin shrugged. “We can hope so. If not, we could try to give them a run for their money.”

“Sorry, I'd rather not have to sit for hours with my ass sore. We might have lube, but you're still huge.” He shifted a bit, moving so he was laying half on-top of Erwin. “...if you really want to, though, I'm sure we could do...other things?” They might've seen each other naked a few times before, and had sex once or twice, but Eren was still as nervous as always when it came to intimacy. Erwin had asked him about it once, and the brunette had flat out told him he felt really inadequate next to him (where the blond was well-built, Eren still looked very much like a scrawny teenager, only having the faintest definitions of muscle from the rigorous training they all had to go through for their roles).

Nuzzling into the chocolate colored hair by his face, Erwin was ready to answer...until the couple on the other side of the wall started up again. “...that little French _fucker_...” he growled, looking ready to go over there and commit a very gruesome homicide.

“That's because he obviously is one. He's French, and he's fucking somebody...or, according to about half the noises we hear, getting fucked.”

They shared a laugh before snuggling together on their sides, legs tangled and arms wrapped around each other. “...at least this time, I'm fairly sure he's the one on top. And when he's pissed, he's usually not one for drawing it out – I've had to listen to this before.”

A hand came up to card through his blond hair. “I'm sorry...would a kiss make it better?”

“Make it more than one and you've got yourself a deal.” They laughed again and shared a few tender kisses before settling in to try and get some sleep, curled into each others comforting warmth.

  _< (()    ())>_

Erwin awoke first, the sound of somebody knocking on their door rousing him. “Get up, you two, five hours till we leave!” Armin said through the door before footsteps indicated he was moving on to somebody else. He sighed, blinking away the last remnants of sleep, focusing on the brunette in his arms. Sometime during the night, they'd shifted so that Eren's back was against his chest, hands clasped over the younger male's chest. Eren looked so peaceful, Erwin felt reluctant to wake him up. Unfortunately, staying in bed any longer wasn't an option, not if they were going to be ready before the group headed out. He sighed, placing soft kisses on the back of his lover's neck.

“Eren...time to get up.” he murmured, rousing the younger with gentle touches.

“Nnngh...don't wanna...” Eren groaned, turning his head so that his face was buried in the pillow. “Half an hour more...?”

Erwin laughed lightly, more from his chest than anything else. “I'm afraid not.” He placed another kiss on Eren's neck before the other finally rolled over, brown hair sleep-mussed and amber eyes hazy. “Come on. Shower, then food. Think you can manage that?” Eren gave a nod, but made no move to get up. Sighing, he decided to resort to “drastic” measures. “Don't make me steal your new cat ears, Eren.”

“FUCK, I'M UP!!!!”


	9. Author Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read for explanation.

So, it's been posted to my tumblr page (same name as here) that I'm not continuing this series. I literally just can't bring myself to since...well...since my Dad died in September. And I know I should, but SnK was a fandom we shared a LOT in common with. It was one of the last ones he started getting into with me.

Granted, he became more interested in RWBY after his stroke (had trouble watching with half his vision gone, but managed to keep up), but...

...I've had trouble keeping myself invested in the series since he passed. It's a bit painful to know he's not here to torment me about the fact I'm always wandering into the shows laden with death and depression. Hell, last year's birthday, he found a picture of Levi and Eren (my two favorites) on the internet and went to get a printed cake for the celebration, knowing it'd fucking make my day. For the record, they were not yaois, it was a fanart (I can't remember the artist, I'm sorry) of Levi on titan Eren's hand.

(I may have some trouble writing yaoi stuff now, too; another thing he tormented me over was writing porn for the internet. Slowly getting over that one – writing is one thing I've done for years, so it's a solace for me.)

If any of you might be interested in continuing the story, please, contact me, here or tumblr – I'll be more than happy to hand it over. If there're any changes you want to make, go for it. I'll also tell what chapters I kinda had drafts for (not many), possibly had plans for (a few).

...but I just literally don't have the heart for it. It's been hard to get back into a lot of the fandoms we shared. Possibly someday I will, but right now, they're just dredging up too much grief. My father was one of my best friends, and one of the reasons I am who I am today.

(This message also posted to the side stories.)


End file.
